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Review by Loki |
2009-04-08
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I am unfamiliar with this fandom, but I am also intrigued.
I must say I am impressed with your vocabulary, I find reading this a rewarding experience.
I did however notice some minor flaws, but a good BETA or proof reading of your piece should correct and bring a polish to the text.
Over-all it was a wonderful insight and took us from the pit of dispair to the edge of hope, and I liked that.
The central character has warmth, potency and depth. Even her descriptions of those in her life, the recall of past embodiments elicited sympathy and to help with a writing resource, I hope you will find it as helpful as it has been for me:
http://www.users.qwest.net/~yarnspnr/writing/adverbs/adverbs.htm
Good luck and a beautiful piece of writing
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