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Review by Loki |
2009-05-16
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Right from the start I knew this was gold. I find writers such as yourself are those like others I have read and praised, are the lifeblood of the fandom and I encourage you to keep amazing us with your gift.
Minako/Venus was beautifully portrayed, Adonis-Damburite and their chemistry, you conveyed in the first stanza was convincing and the setting supported this as had the dialogue.
Excellent word usage, and vocab, I think there is a lot of great showing, not too much telling, that a problem a lot of writers have particularly in mundane body-in-action sequences, thus far, you have demonstrated a good handle on this, and I can only see you go from strength to strength with your writing. I am looking forward to reading the next chapters. Good work.
For your interest and consideration, I hope the following will help your writing as much as it has mine. Good luck and feel free to PM to chat.
http://www.users.qwest.net/~yarnspnr/writing/adverbs/adverbs.htm
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