Review by Loki |
2009-10-07
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Welcome to dot!
You have a beautiful vocabulary , and your characterization is superb. You have WAF down pat and the flow was good.
a couple of knit-picky things, the use of 'dark head, and the like was a little odd, please revisit that, but aside from that, the following article you might find fascinating and eye-opening as have I:
http://www.users.qwest.net/~yarnspnr/writing/adverbs/adverbs.h
Great start and all the best with future writing!tm
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