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Review by Loki |
2009-10-07
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You are a very good writer: plot, style and flow, characterization etc, very good.
Careful of punctuation, ellipses, apostrophes are also a good sub for italics. Show and not telling in a couple of places, but these are cosmetic things I noticed. Over all a most enjoyable and cute ficlet, portraying a pure love, sweet, innocent and passionate and you pulled it off to perfection. I can see you continuing to grow and improve as a writer. ^_^
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