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Reviews on War Games by AngelMoon Girl


Review by 00idiot 2010-04-04

Excellent grammer, and writing-this is very well done. I love the way the characters are interacting. Please make companion pieces with the other Senshi, meeting Serenity and having fun conversations/antics.

Author's response:

Thank you so much! I'm so flattered that you liked the story enough to review; sometimes I feel that my fics just slip under the radar ^^;;

If you liked this, you might enjoy one of my other pieces, "Snapshots of the Royals". It is FULL of interactions such as the one you saw here between Serenity and Mars, but with other Senshi as well. Most of it isn't posted here yet, but on FanFiction.net the chapters number into the 30's. Or, you could try my short story "Merry Christmas, Small Lady", with lots of Inner Senshi/Neo-Queen Serenity.

Again, thank you so much!

*huggles*

AngelMoon Girl
Review by Loki 2009-10-26

A fascinating contrast of views in this great ficlet!

Knit pickies first: !? pairings, and the contraction, although some use it, this form, 'alright' is better written as all right grammar-wise, and one sentence needs a 'herself' inserted to complete it. Last little point, *secrete* it. this word is like squeezing a tube or as in 'a scent, or substance from the skin etc.

Highlights:

I just loved your dialogue, you managed to have Usagi (Neo Q S), bringing together her wisdom, and she comes over as a well-rounded personality with that humorous edge also.

She has not lost any of her typical traits character-wise and has mellowed. That is good writing and Mars, too you have maintained that same balance very well. I love the raspberry! LOL

I also like how you structured the discussion, it reflects a realistic process of exchange and I love the little pearl at the end with the 'kick' reference: very clever, very good!

Wonderful little ficlet!


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