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Reviews on Life is but a Dream... by Bunny


Review by Loki 2006-08-21

This is a classic SM story featuring Jed and Rei that I really love!

Firstly though, there are a few typos, structural and grammar and expression issues that need fixing. Word usage and expression also need a little work, but these things are easily fixed with a good proofing and editor. ^_^

Highlights:

I loved your characterisation, Rei and Jadeite were so beautifully written, you captured their essence magnificently. The battle scenes, with their amazing imagery -- the dreams, all converged to create an added emotional intensity that serves you well in this one-shot.

You had hooked me from the start and the romantic drama was skillfully played out and you balanced the deeper affect with a sprinkling of humor that left me feeling great. So in all, a fabulous job, your only weakness is on the technical skills front and this can be remedied. *hands you a cluster of fiery-red roses and bows* L.
Review by Starsea 2006-05-09

This is a very sweet story, marred by a few grammar mistakes and being crammed into a short story. You could easily have made this chaptered and developed the storyline. I don't think Ami would have been happy about eavesdropping on Usagi, Mamoru and Jadeite, but you do write Rei very well.

"You're blushing" not "your blushing". When continuing a sentence after speech, use a comma if you're not using an exclamation mark, a question mark or a full stop.

xxx~Starsea~xxx


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