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Reviews on Cry-baby by Starsea
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Review by scatterak |
2011-08-28
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I rarely ever see pieces that examine Usagi in such an honest manner. I don't see a lot of good character studies focusing on her, at least ones that don't exaggerate or change her, which is a shame because I kind of love her as she is. Well done.
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Review by Bella*Luna |
2006-09-14
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Wow...wow. I feel...sad, worried, a longing for comfort.
I haven't read the manga. I've only just recently scene the Stars season of the anime. Your story was amazing. Just long enough to pull you and make you thihnk about what is going to happen. What this old soul is dealing with. It was really great.
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Author's response:
Since that's the way Usagi feels in the story, I think that's a compliment, hahah. The Stars manga is not only shorter than its corresponding anime season, but I definitely think it's darker and sadder. I'm glad this story had an impact on you. ^^
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Review by Kihin Ranno |
2006-06-26
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First of all, congratulations on making first person not sound contrived and ridiculous. It is a feat I have yet to accomplish, and I envy people who can do it well.
I also really like that the sentences are short and rather simple. There's no Usagi waxing poetic or getting deeply philosophical. It's very much like how I'd expect Usagi to think.
Other likeable lines were "calm as glass (damn you and your metaphors. They fill me with envy. :P)" and "If I grew too big, I wouldn’t be his Usako anymore." That line just felt so dead on Usagi to me, and a little sad because (though I like to break them up and keep them apart and all that jazz) when you write them, I want them to stay together and I get kind of upset to find that she's been thinking about situations in which she would not be his Usako.
See what you do to me? God. :P
I did notice a slight overuse of ellipses where I think the sentences would have been stronger if you'd just used a period. I thought that particularly when Usagi was thinking back to what Luna had told her back in the day. Luna is such a maternal character even though she's basically Usagi's age, and I've always thought of her as speaking very definitely, so seeing it sort of trail off sort of threw me.
There was one line at the beginning that was still wrapped. It's not a big deal, but that's one of the things that bugs me when I take a gander at things that I've spent hours and hours unwrapping, so I thought I'd mention it.
And, random question, but is there a reason why Ami decided to ask Usagi about her behavior and why it was necessary to discuss it with the others? I feel like there's some backstory that I'm missing.
AND THIS IS WHERE I HEARD OF SOPHIE B. HAWKINS BEFORE! Heh. ^^; Isn't that funny?
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Author's response:
I remember that someone who reviewed this on ASMR said they got half way through the story before they realised it was present tense first person. Ha ha. :D
I like my metaphors, although I think I may have borrowed "calm as glass" from someone else. I wrote this story so long ago, I can't remember now. So you want Usagi and Mamoru to stay together when I write them? Good! That's how people should feel in general. Given the situation, however, it's not surprising that she's been thinking about not being Mamoru's Usako.
Yes, you can tell I wrote this a long time ago. I was enamoured of the ellipse, although in my defence, I wanted pauses in Luna's speech to signify that it was in Usagi's memory. Or something like that. It had to do with writing in Usagi's voice.
I corrected the wrapped line, thanks for pointing it out.
As for Ami commenting on Usagi's behaviour, I see Ami as someone who analyses her friends' behaviour a lot of the time, perhaps according to Myers-Briggs templates. They were probably trying to make Usagi see that she didn't have to cry so much, haha.
It doesn't surprise me that I was responsible for you hearing of Sophie B. Hawkins. "No Connection" is a great song.
Thank you very much for such a long review!
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Review by December |
2006-06-09
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You mention in your author's notes that you wanted this story to be thoughtful, but not too angsty. I think you clearly accomplished that goal. This story really made me think about a character I just tend to take as a given. You brought a depth to a character that is so easy to write as a lightweight, which makes this a great read. It also reads like a train of thought piece, which made me feel like I was really inside Usagi's head.
Besides wondering at the spelling of "miaow" (I always thought it was spelled "meow"), and pausing at the English spelling of favour (sorry, I'm used to the American English spelling without the u), this was very enjoyable story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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Author's response:
Thank you very much for reviewing "Cry-baby", December. It's always been one of my more neglected stories, so I'm pleased you gave it such a thoughtful review. I wanted to write it as a 'stream of consciousness' piece, so it's good to know that you felt you were inside Usagi's head.
The sound can be spelt either "miaow" or "meow". Perhaps "meow" is more common in the US. Both spellings are used here in the UK.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
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