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Review by bin82501 |
2011-10-27
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loved the characterizations
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Review by PromiseMe |
2007-05-18
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That was a very good story,Very good. I liked how it really seemed like it could happen unlike so many other Crystal Tokyo stories. I think this one is one of the best I've read so far. The only thing is if their love is so strong don't you think they would have talked to each other? In the Anime and Manga Usagi and Mamoru both tell the other everything eventually. So other than the fact that I believe they would have talked about it I really enjoyed this story.
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Review by December |
2007-02-16
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First, I want to say that the story was beautiful in a sad way. This is what happens when people don't communicate about what they are really feeling. You do have to wonder how long they can keep it up, though.
In terms of characterization, which you mentioned as a concern in the review request thread, I actually think you were pretty dead on. Parts of them were still Usagi and Mamoru, but they had to grow, change and struggle in roles that they might not have chosen for themselves. I think you did a good job of capturing that tension and capturing there voices. I really enjoyed reading this piece.
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Review by Kihin Ranno |
2007-02-09
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I agree, I can also see this happening. I think you have them pretty spot-on for this situation, and the emotional content is good. I'd have more to say on that, except that I just finished watching "Armageddon" so I'm rather numb at the moment.
Anyway, while I find it believeable, it doesn't strike me as a permanent situation. What I mean is, things can't stay like this. Either they will have to sit down and talk about this (or have it come out in some kind of argument) or they'll both self-destruct. It makes the story feel a bit unfinished even if it just a glimpse into their lives at this moment because this isn't any kind of livable, lasting stasis. It certainly leaves room for exploration.
One quick concrit: Watch your use of ellipses. Overusing them gives you're writing inexactness with all the sentences trailing off and whatnot. Definitive statements have a stronger impact because there's no uncertainty. Know what I mean?
Anyway, nice story, and thanks for kicking off the review thread!
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Review by Bella*Luna |
2006-09-19
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Yes, I can completely see this happening. Both of them worried what the other will think when they are both thinking the same thing. You did very well capturing their sacrifices. I like it.
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