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Review by Bella*Luna |
2006-12-04
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Very good, very good. A take that I haven't seen yet on the story...not that I have looked though.
I could see some of the cells as I read your story from the manga, your descriptions are good, they are useful in creating the image in the reader's head.
A few typos, you should watch your tense when writing, in the scene whe Dark Mars meets Sailor Moon (when she tried to wake Rei up) you switch from past to present. Everyone does it, don't be discouraged! ^.^
I'm not sure that I would have told the readers about your mysterious third general, or explained the lack of Zoisite and Kunsite...you want to let your story answer any questions that might pop into the reader's head. Their questions are what keeps them coming back to read more. But, to each their own and if you were comfortable revealing that information more power to you.
I intend on continued reading. Great job so far, I'm definitely getting the feel of the manga with this story. ^.~
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