|
Review by Nephthys Moon |
2007-11-05
|
I literally had tears coming out of my eyes reading this. Tears, I tell you. I was so grateful my husband wasn't at home - he would have thought I'd gone daft or something.
The story itself is a cliche, but done in such a hilarious manner that it is almost poking fun at the cliche, making it new again. Very impressive.
I did feel, though, that your characterization of Serena was a bit off in the beginning - forced, perhaps. However, it tied into the story well. Perhaps a more in-character reason for her to be persuaded to go to the arcade when she's really just ready for bed - something like getting to see Andrew. That is more likely something she would go for, and more in-character for Lita to suggest, in a teasing manner, as an incentive for going out instead of sleeping.
It's hard to imagine anyone, even Serena, falling asleep in an arcade, especially given the laughter that was going on around her (and now I'm nearly dying of laughter again, just thinking about it), but as a plot device, it worked well enough.
On the whole, the story was extremely funny and I can't remember when I've been more diverted by a fanfic - which is saying a lot, considering the amount that I've read in the past year.
~Kasey
|
|
