WHISKEY
TANGO FOXTROT
7: Void Where Prohibited
It
had come at last.
The
evil Metaria monster had finally come into its prime. It had tricked
everyone it had come across, and it finally exacted its revenge
against the people of the moon for trapping it under the earth. And
as it looked down at its demonic offspring as they tore into the
survivors of her first onslaught, it gave a roar of victory.
“RAAAAAAAARGH!!!”
It flashed its long, venomous teeth as it howled.
“UNIVERSE.....IS........MINE!!!!
IT....IS.....MIIIIIIINE!!!!!”
The
monsters roared with approval as several of their number appeared
from the ruins of the Moon Palace to bring forth the bodies of
Princess Serenity and Beryl, which were both burnt and battered
beyond recognition. They threw the bodies towards Metaria, who
scooped them up in its mouth and viciously chomped through the
remains like cashews.
“RAAAAAAR!”
The shadows shouted. “Now we FEAST!”
“RAAAR!
FOOD! YAY!!”
“Rrrrgh.”
One shadow lumbered over to Metaria. “Master. Let us go to
Tavern on the Green and celebrate before taking over the universe.”
“No,
I want to go to Maxim's.”
“Tavern
on the Green!” Several more shadows shouted. “Beer!
Parks! Donald Trump!”
“Maxim's!”
Other shadows shouted. “Paris! Wine! Armpit hair!”
“Tavern!!”
“Maxim's!!”
“TAVE-”
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”
The shadows were silenced. “NO DISGUSTING HUMAN FOOD! WE
WILL FEAST ON HUMAN BODIES!”
“....Ew.”
The shadows looked at one another. “Rrrgh. Do we have to?”
“YES!”
“....Ok.”
The shadows began to hesitantly nibble on body parts. “I prefer
the Ivy myse....Rrrgh! Master! LOOK!”
The
great monster looked at its underling, then looked at the direction
it was pointing. On top of the Prayer Tower's highest spire - which
was miraculously still intact - was a bright ball of light.
“RRGH!”
Something about the light repulsed the demon. “WHAT IS THAT?
STOP IT! STOP-”
Before
the Metaria demon could finish, a blast of white energy suddenly
blasted from the ball and hit it head on. It's mouth opened and
twisted in agony from the impact; the monster's form lost its cloud
shape, its energy cracking into the bare night sky like a flame.
“Riiiigh!?”
The shadows started to run towards their master. “Master!
MASTER!!”
The
ball of light on top of the tower pulsed again; this time, the energy
hit the shadows as they scurried to their master. Screaming and
writhing, the shadows dissipated under the bright light, their bodies
torn to shreds.
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!”
Metaria struggled to no avail as the light - and the energy coming
from it - became stronger. “RAAAAARGH!!!! MY POWER.......MY
BODY.....raaargh....”
With
final roar, the Metaria demon was engulfed by the power, and it's
body collapsed into black rain, freeing the remains of those it had
ingested. But the power that had appeared was not finished yet.
Queen
Serenity was not finished yet.
“Moon
Healing....Escalation!”
At
her cry, the bright ball of light sent out a shock wave that caused
the Prayer Tower and any other building still standing in the
vicinity to collapse, then pulsed outward, growing bigger by the
second. It absorbed everything in sight - body parts, rubble,
treasure, weapons water from the river and Pop-Tarts. Serenity's body
was swept up, as was Endymion's; the bodies of Beryl, the generals
and the Earth soldiers merely disintegrated upon being touched by the
light as it took in everything.
Over
by the ruins of the bridge, one limbless body turned its head to see
the light as it raced towards the three senshi's remains.
“Oh,
great. Lovely,” Jupiter mumbled just before she
was absorbed. “Nice that you waited until now to do
that!”
*BOOM
SHAKALAKA!*
Within
three minutes, it was all over. With one final shock wave, the Silver
Millennium was nothing but a wasteland, with blood and the stench of
illegal drugs filling the air. The black rain soon stopped, and the
echoes of screams stopped, leaving the world with a deadly silence.
“Queen!”
That
was very quickly broken by the two cats that scampered over to the
queen's side. She was on top of the rubble of the Prayer Tower, her
body limp; her face was whiter than her hair.
“No...!”
Artemis pawed at the queen's body. “No, it can't be. Queen
Serenity! Wake up!”
“Queen!”
Luna's eyes filled with tears. “Queen!!”
“....Mmmm?”
An eye fluttered open as Queen Serenity's head turned. “Oh,
it's you two. Nice to see you survived.”
“We
were able to hide in a drain pipe, so we were safe.” Luna
looked at the queen's form. “Majesty, what have you done...?”
“What
I should have done ages ago.”
Slowly,
painfully, Queen Serenity brought her hand up, revealing a pink stick
with a crescent moon on top. Placed in it was a white gem, which
still pulsed with power. Both the cats gasped.
“The
Silver Crystal!!” Both cats cried. “Your body! Then
it means....”
“Yes,
cats.” Serenity's eyes closed. “I'm dying. I've sealed
the Metaria demon away, and I've sent the court to the future. On
Earth. They will surely live on, even if I cannot....”
“No,
no!!” Artemis shook his head. “You can't die! You
can't have used up all your strength...!”
“Don't
leave us.” Luna sniffed. “You're all we have. You can't
die of exhaustion now, when there are still people who need
you!”
“....Actually,”
Serenity paused. “To tell you the truth, that's not why I'm
dying.”
“...It's
not?”
“No....”
The queen bit her lip. “I actually stood a pretty good chance
of surviving using the crystal's power, after sleeping off the
effects it's usage had on me. I would have been out for a couple of
days but I would've been all right.”
“Then
how...?”
“Massive
internal hemorrhaging,” the queen sighed. “Unfortunately,
when the Prayer Tower collapsed, I fell right onto the spire I had
been standing on. It severed my spine as well as one of my major
arteries, though it missed my heart by mere inches.”
“...Oh.”
The cats blinked. “So that's why you're not writhing in pain.”
“Yes,
I can't feel a thing.” Serenity coughed. “It's a
surprisingly euphoric....”
“But
Queen,” Luna looked at the dying monarch worriedly. “What
about us? What will happen to us?”
“Well....”
Slowly the queen separated the Silver Crystal from the wand. “I'm
going to send you to the future too. There's no point in staying and
cleaning this mess up, especially when I accidentally sent the Earth
prince into the future as well.”
At
this, the cats stared at their queen in horror.
“You
can't mean....!”
“Yes.”
Even in her last moments, Serenity looked at her advisers sternly.
“Whatever you do, you must never let that man near my
daughter. I can't begin to imagine what diseases he'll give her if he
gets under her skirt.”
“What
about Metaria?” Artemis asked. “Won't we need all the
help we can get? Endymion was apparently a good fighter...”
“...Well,
yes, that too. Beating that monster is all good if it ever gets out.
And if it does, I'll makes sure next time around my daughter
will be able to fight it.” Serenity looked up. “But
monster or not, keep Endymion away from the princess. The last thing
I need is the cold comfort of that jerk causing another holocaust
because of the mass....albeit inexplicable....female attraction to
his penis. Agreed?”
“Agreed!”
“Now
then.....” Serenity held the crystal aloft, and it left her
hand, flying towards earth in a flash of silver. “The end has
come. Goodbye, my cats. May you guide the princess on your journeys.
And good luck.....”
At
this, the cats were engulfed in balls of light, and they were slowly
raised into the sky. Looking down, they could see their queen close
her eyes, and they saw the moon stick drop from her hand as her body
became limp.
“Queen
Serenity!!”
“Don't
go!!” Artemis cried. “Step away from the light,
your Highness!!!”
But
it was no use. No matter how hard they cried out to her, there was no
response. As they shot out of the fading atmosphere of the moon,
their last memory of the Silver Millenium was one of grief.
Queen
Serenity, the great queen of Silver Millennium, was dead.
!~*~!
Several
silent minutes went by as the night bore on, and the queen's body
stiffened. There was no end to the evidence of carnage - the rivers
had dried up, the buildings were in ruin, and the smoke of a dying
fire still rose into the sky from what was once the great ball room.
There
was no life left on the moon, none that could be seen to anyone who
had bothered to look - which was nearly no one. Somehow, the magic
that had sustained the moon had sustained the other kingdoms, and
when it was wiped out, so were the other planetary kingdoms, without
any warning. Throughout the solar system, all was quiet.
“....BRUH!!!!”
Suddenly,
there was a rumble underneath the ruins of the Prayer Tower, and an
armored hand burst out, followed by the dust-coated face of Priam,
who took a great gasp of air as he tumbled down the side of the rock.
Jacob followed several seconds afterwards, emerging next to the
queen, a giant pile of Pop-Tarts in his arms.
"Well,
of all the..." Standing up unsteadily, Priam watched as the cats
became a speck in the sky, a look of shock on his face. "This
is....unbelievable! It can't be! We're the last two people alive in
the world! My god.....this....."
"Well,"
At this, Jacob took a bite out of a chocolate Pop Tart as he poked
the queen's body with a stick. "Least we've got plenty of food."
“Oh,
why you...!”
Frowning
at his partner's lack of appreciation of the gravity of the
situation, as well as his total disrespect for their sovereign, Priam
was about ready to smack his partner with his sword when, suddenly, a
blinding flash of light appeared before them. As they covered their
eyes, the light transformed into a doorway, and within were four
figures.
“That
door....” Priam opened his eyes and lowered his arms. “Can
it be?!”
"We're...I
don't believe it...." It was Sailor Uranus who stepped out
first. "We were....too late?!"
"They're
gone!" Sailor Neptune was next, and she became pale at the sight
of the destruction. "There's nothing left!"
“Huh?”
Jacob's eyes widened. “What the hell?!”
“Oh
dear....” Sailor Pluto and Sailor Saturn both stepped out of
the door, which promptly disappeared when they did. “I'm afraid
I brought us to the wrong place.”
“I'd
say you did.” Uranus gave Pluto a glare. “I would even
bet you did this on purpose.”
“Me?”
Pluto looked innocent. “Certainly not. I didn't know-”
“Doooon't
even try putting that over us, timekeeper.” Uranus poked Pluto
on the chest. “You knew the whole time what you were doing.”
“...Maybe
I did.” Pluto looked at Uranus. “But do you really
think you would have made a difference?”
“Does
it matter?” Neptune sighed. “At least we could have
fought.”
“Well,”
Sailor Saturn stretched. “At least I'm getting some exercise.
If one good thing comes out of all this.”
“.....Women!”
The
four senshi turned to see Jacob, who was staring at them with wide
eyes. He looked as if he had been struck by lightning as he got off
of the rubble pile and staggered towards the warriors.
“What?
Those aren't just women, you fool.” Looking at the sailors,
Priam shook his head. “Those are the legendary sailor senshi of
the outer solar system-”
"Priam,
don't you get it? Don't you see it? This....is excellent!"
At this, Jacob clapped. "We now have a chance to repopulate and
save the moon! And there's only one way to do it!"
"Save
the mo....” Priam looked at the queen's body and back at his
partner, disbelieving. “How?"
"....Menage
a trois!" At this, Jacob grabbed Neptune, who automatically
pulled away. "I'll take the lesbians. You take the old lady and
the kid."
Everyone
stared at him as he spoke. No one was quite sure what to make of what
he was suggesting, with the exception of Sailor Pluto. She stood, her
eye twitching.
"What......"
she mumbled under her breath, "did you just call me...."
"....You
idiot!" At this, Priam smashed Jacob in the face. "Are
you crazy?!"
“Crazy!?”
Jacob pushed Priam away. “Of course not! They're women, we're
men, what else do you need to know?!”
“They're
senshi!” Priam was shaking. “We can't just sleep
with these four sailor senshi like they're whores - they're
all-powerful warriors! Especially Saturn! Don't you know
what happens if she drops her glaive?! It's suicide!”
“You're
the one that's crazy!” Jacob laughed. “Four extremely hot
women, and all you can do is babble about why we should not
doing it with them! I bet you're gay.”
“I
am not gay!”
“Well
you certainly act like it,” At this, Jacob turned his nose up.
“You fruit loop!”
“You
bastard!!”
“Oooh,
he called me a bastard! Scaaary!” At this, Jacob gave
Priam the middle finger. “Why don't you just lick this
while I kick your ass, you sissy! Better yet, why don't you go jerk
off over the queen's dead body, because that's the closest to a girl
you can get now-”
“THAT
DID IT!!!!”
With
that, Priam unsheathed his sword and sliced at Jacob, missing his
midsection by inches. Three of the senshi watched in horror at the
degenerating situation, while Pluto - knowing better than to stay for
the outcome - quietly made herself disappear from the scene.
“YOU
HEARTLESS....!” Priam swiped again, clearly enraged. “I'LL
CUT YOUR TRUNK OFF!”
“Oooh,
yeah!” Sarcastically, Jacob went to unsheath his weapon. “I'm
sure you will-”
As
Jacob flung his sword out of his scabbard, he inadvertently smashed
Saturn in the face with his closed fist. She staggered several steps
back, dizzily watching as the two moon guards exchanged several
parries, before she fell to the ground, bruised and cross-eyed.
“Uuuugh...”
“SATURN!”
Everything
went in slow motion for the five survivors at this point. Jacob and
Priam stopped their fight just in time to see the Silence Glaive
leave Saturn's hands. For a moment, it stood up on its own, but
without anything to support it, it started to fall sideways
Uranus
and Neptune jumped to grab the glaive before it hit the ground, but
in their hearts, they realized they may already have been too late.
They screamed, as did Priam, who also understood what was happening.
Jacob,
marveling that he could see Neptune's cleavage from where he was
standing, didn't know what was about to hit him.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
The
top of the glaive's blade came down onto the ground....
*BOOOOMITY
BOOM BOOM BOOOOOOOOOM!!!*
The
three hundred citizens left in the solar system watched from the
decimated surface of Earth as the moon suddenly exploded above them,
sending flames and large meteors flying in all directions. Most of
the group, comprised of those from the moon who had escaped from the
Silver Millenium and various other planets during the battle, as well
as a cadre of penguins, clapped heartily at the bright colors, as
they had never seen such a show before in the sky. Others held up
umbrellas to shield their eyes.
"Bravo!
Bravo!" Signs with numbers came up. “Excellent explosion!
It'll take awhile to fix that.”
“But
how will we fix it?” One person scratched their head.
“It might take centuries to find all the pieces.”
“Don't
you worry your little head off!” At this, the person was
smacked in the back. “There's always a way. In the meantime,
let's move up the mountain so the inevitable tsunami from the
collision of the moon rock with the Pacific Ocean doesn't destroy us
all, shall we?”
“...Uh,
ok.....whatever you want....what's a Pacific Ocean?....”
All
three hundred survivors had made their way to the Himalayas, where
they camped out on the side of Mt. Everest, K2 and the various other
mountains in the range, which at that point were not called such;
rather, the group simply called them Big Mountain 1, Big Mountain 2,
and All The Other Big Mountains. All amongst them were sharp rocks
and sunken enclaves and caverns, perfect places to hide in case of
nuclear winter. There were tons of yeti and woolly mammoths in the
area to be had for food and clothing, and snow was easily melted into
water.
"....Right,
let's keep this as simple as possible." There was a group
sitting around a campfire in the largest cave, with one of their
numbers drawing a crude map of Earth. "Here's the plan to
rebuild this world after the moon remain problem is sorted out. Jude,
I want you to go to China with some people, and build something
that's going to last over there. Make a lot of jade things and carve
stuff into bones, so that people will think you know the future."
"Why
bones?"
"Because
it's better than doing it in dirt." The man crossed off a part
of the world. "Starky, you'll go and found Indus, and then after
awhile pack up your people and abruptly leave for Mars. That'll stump
'em several thousand years in the future!"
"I
like that idea!" Starky nodded. "I like Mars."
"Excellent."
Another x was drawn. "Now, someone's got to found Mesopotamia.
Who wants to do that?"
"Me!!"
"No,
me!!!"
"Hey,
I wanna found Mesopotamia!"
"All
right, all right, one at a time, people!" The lotcaster
held his hands up. "And don't worry. We've still got plenty of
places to choose from. We've got Australia, North America,
Antarctica, Egypt-"
"It's
hot there."
"....Well,
too bad, someone has to found it." The lotcaster drew a circle.
"Come on, who'll do-"
"....aaaaaah...."
The
group was interrupted by a sudden scream. It came from a cave nearby,
the highest one on the mountain, and it echoed for several minutes
before it stopped, only to have another scream come through from
within.
“Oh,
YES!!” The words were the same. “More, Kunzy-kun,
MORE!!!!”
“…Kunzy-kun?!”
One person's eye twitched at this. “What the hell kind of a pet
name is that?”
“Are
they going at it again?”
“I
assume so. They just can't keep their hands off each other.”
The lotcaster shrugged. “Anyhow-”
“Can't
we tell them to stop?” Starky shuddered. “Really,
children might be reading this!”
“....Right.
Whatever you say.” The lotcaster went back to the map. “Now,
we made a deal with the penguins that they would get ownership of a
continent. What one do you guys want?”
“.....If
you can't figure out where we belong,” at this, a penguin,
covered in ice packs and fanning himself off as he glared at the
humans, appeared. “I will personally peck your eyes out and
sever your head with this scimitar.”
“...Right.
Egypt, then?” The lotcaster just barely missed being pecked to
death, as he bent down, inadvertently causing the penguin to sail
over him and into the campfire. “Now, someone's going to have
to rebuild the moon...somehow....”
“AAAAAAUGH!!!”
The penguin screamed as its skin melted off. “YOU HEARTLESS
HUMAN BASTARD! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS AFFRONT!!”
“Oh,
quit being a baby.” The lotcaster took a stick and poked the
burning penguin, which caused him to scream in more agony as he
turned into penguin slag. “Now, Lucky will get North America,
and you, Moo, will get Egypt instead of the penguins.”
“Aw,
man....”
“Jane
gets...Oh, right I forgot South America, thanks, Jane!....Jane gets
South America. That wierdo old man that keeps trying to go into the
cave where that general is humping that girl...he gets Austrailia,
and I, naturally,” at this, the lotcaster chuckled. “I
get Mesopotamia. Now, are we squared away?”
“What
about the penguins?” someone spoke up. “Shouldn't they
they get Antarctica?”
“Hell
no.” At this, the lotcaster crossed Antarctica out. “After
what their leader just did, they get to rebuild the moon. After which
we'll use them as hood ornaments, the stupid animals. Trust me,
they're better off.”
“We
heard that!” Several more penguins squawked at the insult. “How
are you call us stupid animals-”
“See
what happened to your leader? Huh? You'd better not talk back to us!”
At this, the lotcaster played with the dirt until the map was gone.
“So, that's how we'll jump start civilization again. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
“Now,
a toast.” At this, the lotcaster took up a champagne glass; the
others did the same. “To all the people who died....hopefully,
they're up in heaven, and they're looking down upon us in a positive
light.....and to the future, so we can recreate the moon ki-”
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
The
pitch of the scream caused the champagne glasses to shatter. He gave
a nod to the others sitting by the fire, and on the count of three,
they rolled a rock over the entrance of their cave so they could go
on undisturbed. Still, they could hear the screams, which echoed
through the mountainside like the wounded cries of an animal.
“....Right.”
The lotcaster put cotton balls in his ears. “Now on to other
questions. Who wants to handle re-inventing the wheel?...”
The
creators of the world did their best to continue their discussions,
and others continued with their lives likewise, despite the screams,
which continued to come from the deep cave where the last surviving
general and the last senshi were. Having abandoned themselves to
primal pleasure, they didn't even have a bed to do it on; they had
the cold ground, a single blanket, and faint torchlight. But it
didn't matter to them; for Kunzite and Venus, it was the unique
experience they had longed for, away from their critical friends and
family.
At
long last, they could love one another.
“Aah....”
The old man outside of the cave of lovemaking nodded and wiped his
nose as the throes and cries of ecstasies continued, even while giant
meteors and charred pop tarts zoomed across the sky and landed around
them. “Now this is the way you should end it
all.....with an orgasm.”
Of
course, that earned him a smack on the head by a passerby, but it
didn't matter. In a way he was right; the two lovers were all that
were truly left of the great civilization that had been destroyed by
war. Everyone else was looking towards the peaceful future; they
clung to the turbulent past until their very last breath, in a
lovers' embrace.
And
- to all who watched as the Earth was also destroyed by the moon, as
the moon had been destroyed by the Earth - what a past it was.
!~*~!
We'll
meet again, don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll
meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through, just the way you
used to do
Till the blue skies chase the dark clouds far
away
Now, won't you please say "Hello" to the folks
that I know
Tell 'em it won't be long
'cause they'd be happy to
know that when you saw me go
I was singing this song
We'll
meet again, don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll
meet again some sunny day
!~*~!
“OH!!”
Venus gasped. “That was fun! Let's do that again!......”
THE
END?
