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Mommy Please Love Me: Story of a Crystal Princess by Loki

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When I dream, who will protect me from the shadows?

Am I fated to wander always alone, and will I find shelter without you?

I am but a single Sakura blossom, trying to find my way home to you -- seeking reassurance, will you keep turning away and vanishing into darkness?

Mommy please love me…mommy!


Sad Beginnings


The Senshi of water handed Queen Serenity the pink bundle of love. “It’s a girl, Sere, she is truly beautiful,” Mercury cooed, feeling the tiny heart of the new princess pulsing with power.

Serenity offered a weak smile, and blinked, much worn out after her ordeal. She extended her arms as she attempted to cradle the newborn child. She was afraid she wouldn’t have the strength. But to her surprise, she managed to hold the baby in her embrace. She looked down to examine the little one more carefully. “She is so like her father; she has his eyes…“

“Yes, Sere, and she is very much like her mother, too.“

The baby was ever so tiny. Her remarkably small hands found their way to her little mouth, and she sucked her fingers. ~She is hungry,~ her mother thought. Serenity brought the child to her breast and she began to feed with relish. After a time , the infant suckled, Serenity closing her eyes, sighing contentedly as the child took her fill. Looking down, she noticed the head of magenta fuzz covering the infant’s tiny scalp, smiling at the sight of the small crescent moon insignia glowing on the baby’s forehead for the briefest of moments before it disappeared. She soon felt herself floating as if in mid-air, a most disconcerting, yet wonderful sensation. She soon gave herself up to it.

Mercury checked her notes on the console by her bedside and frowned, the symptoms she dreaded most. Serenity’s energy readings were beginning to fluctuate, meaning her mind, body and spirit would soon have to cope with the onset of shock after the tragic events of the previous day. No one had spoken of it, and the palace staff was instructed on how to behave around the queen. She was as fragile as a delicate flower, and the wrong words said at the wrong time could have dire consequences for the child and the Crystal Kingdom, not to mention, Serenity herself.

Mercury straightened and continued her vigil by Sere’s bedside. Serenity allowed herself to drift for a time before falling into a deep dreamless sleep, Mercury taking the child from her slumbering mother and placing her in the nearby crib.

~*~

Serenity woke to find the midwife -- a young girl from Emeriti, a small world in the Alpha Centauri star system – pausing on the threshold to the queen’s bedroom before entering her bedchamber. The woman strode towards the crib and picked up the child, smiled and handed the baby to its mother. Almost immediately, the little one fed, and after having her fill, the queen nodded for the woman to step forward and take the baby and set her back in her crib as her mother ate breakfast.

She was surprised to find her pink marble vanity cleared of her many personal accoutrements. Now vases and baskets filled with beautiful roses, including other varieties of multi-colored flowers, cards and other gifts from the many allies of the Crystal Kingdom met her gaze. She frowned. So many gifts sent by countless well-wishers: friends, family and subjects alike. All piled high and piquing her curiosity. She smiled, her eye catching a soft toy kitty reminding her so of Luna in her feline form.

It seemed, that Luna -- as with the other feline metamorphs -- assumed their human forms more often these days. This possible after both Luna and Artemis recovering all their ancient memories -- this brought on by the use of the Silver Crystal at Neo-Queen Serenity’s coronation.

Serenity continued to reminisce. She looked lovingly down upon her daughter. Then her eyes opened -- those penetrating deep-blue eyes -- so unlike her own red orbs -- now fixed upon hers. This thought brought the familiar images of her parents to mind.

~Mother…father…~ at that moment, she felt the full onset of her loss and the pain that brought with it, her heart hardened, she could not stand to offer her love to another living soul, for she feared she’d lose them all over again. Serenity’s tears trailed down her cheeks, overwhelmed by a sense of great loss and sorrow. She felt herself sinking into a deep state of melancholy and nothing she did could prevent it.

After wrestling with her chaotic thoughts and feelings for a time, she had come to a most difficult decision.

~To protect her…I must…~

“Kako…take her away from me immediately,” she said coolly. “Don’t allow her to come into my sight ever again, unless I ask for her.”

Shocked, the midwife took the baby from her Queen, most concerned at the state of mind of the child’s mother. She was also worried about what this would mean for the relationship between mother and daughter if the queen maintained her resolve.

Serenity looked away, swallowing hard as she gazed at a point beyond the gardens, not wanting to show the pain she was feeling at her inability to keep the child safe from harm. The midwife turned to her assistant and whispered, “Quick, bring Mercury and Diana!”

The woman scurried from the room. She didn’t take long to find the Senshi; they were waiting outside in the large atrium within the palace medical clinic to visit their queen and friend and, of course, to lay eyes upon the beautiful newborn.

Mercury was about to check on the queen once again when her eyes focused on the expression on the faces of the midwife and her younger assistant. ”What seems to be the problem, Kako-chan?”

“Lady Mercury, you are required in the queen’s bedchamber, and do you know where Lady Diana might be found?”

“Don’t worry, I will tend to Her Majesty. I am sure everything will be all right…“

Palla then spoke up, “I know where Diana is. I’ll go get her.”

She then took off along the central causeway at a run. Juno, Vesta and Ceres looked on as she disappeared down the hall. Mercury spoke quickly into her communicator and asked the senior Sailor soldiers to come as fast as they could.

~*~

“I was afraid of this. Sere may be suffering from a condition known as post-natal depression. I had taken readings earlier, and was hoping to begin treatment this morning. But I hadn’t anticipated the condition setting in so soon. The past and the events of yesterday have accelerated the condition. She is now at the chronic stage. We are going to have to tread lightly if she is to make a full recovery. I’m afraid that patience is what is most needed right now.”

“WHAT!” everyone squeaked in unison. When the waiting room quieted, they all heard the baby crying.

At that moment, Palla ran along the hall with Diana right behind her. “What’s going on?” the gray-haired child-like woman demanded, her hair coloring natural and in accord with her feline coat. When she was younger, she accompanied her Princess as a cute little kitten. She maintained her cat form, but assumed her human form more often these days.

Mercury and the other women filled her in on the situation, assigning her the task of de facto mother to the newborn princess until a program could be set up to assist Serenity back on the road to recovery.

Diana, her tear-stained cheeks shimmering in the light of the room nodded as she agreed to accept the role likely to be on going with some reluctance, perhaps permanent unless something was done.

Serenity and Diana had always been the best of friends. Diana began to fret after Mercury had explained her friend’s decision.

~*~

Serenity smiled with relief as she noticed her friend waiting outside in the hall. Soon Diana was beside the bed, rocking the crying baby in her arms for the first time. She felt a series of mixed emotions overwhelming her, grief chief amongst these and clearly visible on her porcelain face. Serenity then turned away from the trembling Diana and the beautiful little girl cradled in her arms. The child, startled by the shouting outside, and the fact she desperately wanted her mother began to whimper.

Diana spoke up, “Sere, please. Before you place her in my charge, grant her a name.” Diana looked expectantly to her friend and charge. The feline metamorph hoping perhaps that by naming the baby, this would make Sere reconsider her position.

Serenity tried her best to hold back her tears, she could feel her heart breaking at the notion her daughter faced an uncertain future, but was consoled by the fact her dearest friend and guardian, Diana would step in. She wouldn’t ever allow anyone to know the full extent of her love for the little girl. If she wished to protect her last hope, she had to keep her first-born safe by keeping a safe distance, thereby reducing the risk of anyone using her to get to baby Serenity Dawn. She and Helios had chosen the name after she’d told him of her pregnancy.

Sere turned to Diana, a sad expression on her pale face. “Serenity Dawn…” she said, her tone calm as she turned her attention back to the window.

“That’s a lovely name, Sere,” Diana paused before exiting the room, turning back one more time. “And Sere, Happy Birthday, too.”

A single tear rolled down Sere’s cheek as Diana carried the hollering baby from her bedroom. Diana, looking back towards the crestfallen woman who was her friend, knew she could do nothing but comply. She then looked down at the child and smiled. She cooed softly to the baby. “Don’t worry little one, everyone loves you, you are our little Light-of-Hope. Some day you’ll see, your mother has never stopped loving you.”

The baby seemed to know she would be cared for and stopped her crying. She snuggled closer to Diana and let the warmth loll her to sleep.

Minako spoke up then, “Serenity Dawn? That’s such a pretty name. You need a nickname, gal…hmm…let’s see…how about Chibi-Chibi?”

The baby seemed to have heard and opened her eyes and uttered a cute sound, almost as if she was pleased with the suggestion. Everyone sighed, “Aw….”

~*~

Diana adored the child as if she were her own. Everyone helped, of course. Palla, Juno, Vesta and Ceres, too, being Serenity’s Senshi, so naturally they took an interest in caring for Chibi-Chibi. They also offered ideas to Mercury and the other Sailor soldiers to help their Queen on the road to recovery, if it were possible.

~*~

Serenity didn’t seem all that different on the surface. Her behavior, aside from her determination to have as little contact with her child as possible, was otherwise normal. She seemed to avoid the topic of her baby whenever it came up. But Mercury felt it was time she intervened. If Serenity failed to feed the child, she might die. The Sailor soldiers were well aware of the situation and were willing to help in any way they could. It was no longer the case that the baby could be ignored by her mother. It fell to Mercury to gain this concession from her queen, lest the little one fade away and die. This task made more challenging by the fact her mother behaved as if she’d not given birth at all.

Mercury and the Senshi ensured No one but those within Serenity’s loyal court understood the circumstances surrounding the birth of the princess and her mother’s state of mind. As far as the Crystal Kingdom and its allies were concerned, just so long as Serenity could rule the earth and keep peace, they would remain silent. Everyone took turns caring for the infant, playing with her and tending to her needs. Either way, it was as if the child had the biggest family on earth. She was never alone or left out. If the Senshi couldn’t be there all the time -- they had their own families to attend to long before Chibi-Chibi was born -- but there was one constant in her life -- Diana.

~*~

Mercury walked with her friend in the palace gardens a few days later, explaining the importance of breast-feeding her child.

“Sere, it is more than simply a risk. If Chibi-Chibi fails to receive breast milk from her mother, she will die. You say you want to protect her, that you don’t wish anyone to link you to her directly. So, ask only this of yourself, if you want to protect her, I will arrange for Diana to attend while you feed her. Then Diana will do the rest.“

They walked on in silence for a time. Serenity pausing to breathe in the aroma of a rose, or rub the fronds of an exotic herb between her fingertips, inhaling its heady scent before turning to the patient soldier of water. “All right, I will do it…I am not totally cold hearted, you know me better than that. But I will only do this as long as it is necessary. My stance otherwise is unchanged, am I understood? “

“Yes, Sere…I will arrange for a schedule for you.“ Mercury wanted to shake sense into her and kiss her at the same time, but simply nodded.

Serenity sighed and hugged her friend. “Thank you for understanding, I know life hasn’t been exactly easy for all of you, but its how things must be.“ Serenity squared her shoulders, and looked up, noticing the clouds building in the warm skies overhead. “We best be getting back to the palace…looks like rain.“




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