Self-Incineration by ViperInferno

Part III

Self-Incineration
By Viper Inferno
Part III
 
...but that’s not my whole story, it didn’t end there...
 
I got up the next day, and a little earlier than I did the day before. It was about 7am when I had gotten up, compared to 10 yesterday.  I’d actually gotten a better night’s sleep that time. I wasn’t feeling really down that night, that same nightmare didn’t come back to haunt me, and I didn’t cry myself to sleep after having it. It was just a  peaceful and relaxing sleep after a long day. I felt as if that nightmare had finally ended, that it had finally left my mind, and that I had defeated it after letting it all go, freeing it from its prison where it had thrashed at me.
 
So after my usual morning routine, I decided that I wanted to go out for breakfast. It wasn’t something I usually did, seeing as how I loved to cook, but today I wanted to relax. I wanted to go out for the day and immerse myself in the great urban outdoors. So I slipped into some tennis shoes and it was out my apartment door I went.
 
For breakfast, I went to the Crown’s restaurant, where another friend of mine worked. This particular friend was one I had met through Usagi, and one whom I had visited often at Crown’s. I felt I should have at least some company, which was the reason I had decided to go to Crown’s for breakfast. And sure enough, that friend was there when I arrived.
 
“Good morning Mako-chan,” he greeted after his eye caught mine, “You here for breakfast for just to see how I’m doing?”
 
“A little of both actually,” I replied as I approached the counter where he stood, “I felt like going out for breakfast this morning, and I could use a little company.”
 
“Well, you’ve come to the right place, as usual,” he said, “But where’s Usagi and the others?”
 
“I came alone today,” I answered. I usually came to Crowns with Usagi and the others, so it wasn’t unusual for him to ask me where they were, or even to wonder why I didn’t come with them. Sometimes, I preferred having his company alone, just me and not the others. I guess you could say I had a thing for this friend of mine. Sure people would say that I ogled anything on two legs and was desperate for a boyfriend since the time my last one had left me, but this guy wasn’t just some little crush I had. Or maybe he was. Even so, I sometimes thought my desire to be in his company was a little more than my typical 15-year-old crush.
 
So I ordered my breakfast after that little chat with my friend.  It was mostly a one-sided conversation, not really much of a chat. But, at least he was there, and that suited me just fine that day. Sometimes, just the guy being there made me feel good inside. I’m sure you know what it’s like to have great company just from the person being there.  That was how I felt then. Great breakfast from a great guy, I had my cake and ate it too, you could say. So after ordering my breakfast, I sat in the corner of the restaurant, looking out of one of the windows.
 
This was really looking to be a great morning for me. I had gotten a great night’s sleep, I was getting better at my studies for my entry exams, and Usagi had helped to cheer me up yesterday. I just hoped that the Death Busters wouldn’t ruin this morning for me. I had kicked their asses enough for a while, especially that damned bastard who had put me through so much hell two nights ago. But, that was in the past. I didn’t gave to worry about him anymore, or so I hoped.
 
“Here you go, Mako-chan,” my friend’s voice said to me as he set down in front of me a nice French toast breakfast, with eggs, sausage, and a glass of milk. It was a nice American breakfast to go with for the day, something a little different. I always had a thing with dishes from other cultures, so it was nice to have for that day.
 
“Thank you, Motoki-san,” I said before I dug into my breakfast.  Sure I was a damn good cook, but it was great to have something someone else made once in a while, just as long as it wasn’t Usagi’s.
 
 
 
 
 
After I had finished my breakfast, I had gotten up from my seat and began to make my way toward the counter. “Leaving so soon?” Motoki asked as I reached the counter. I hadn’t realized that I had eaten that fast. It was either that, or Motoki-san was so busy that morning that he had completely lost track of time. I looked at my watch and saw that it was about 15 minutes since I had started, proving the latter to be true. Poor Motoki-san, he sure overworked himself at times, but he always had a smile on his face no matter how rough the day was on him.
 
But perhaps I was leaving soon. Even if I had Motoki-san’s company, I was out of the house and wanted to be out for the morning.  Maybe 15 minutes was a bit fast, 15 minutes when I barely said anything to him. But, he was a busy guy that morning, so I wasn’t too bummed out about it. But just having him nearby brought on that warm feeling I had the whole time I was there. Yet, I was ready to leave Crown’s and spend the rest of the morning out and about. “Perhaps,” I replied to Motoki as I paid him for my breakfast, “It’s just been hell the past couple of days. I need to get out for a while and get away from it all. You know?”
 
“I understand,” said Motoki, smiling at me, “Stop by anytime, and say hi to Usagi for me.” I smiled as I walked out of Crown’s, with the assurance from Motoki that had kept that warm feeling within me alive.
 
The Tokyo outdoors were actually pretty active, with it being summer and all. All of the kids were out of school and were walking about the streets, talking amongst themselves, and window shopping along the store fronts, at least those who didn’t have entry exams to worry about. But as for me, Rei didn’t have a study group scheduled for this day, so I was free to spend my day out of the house.
 
So with no worries weighing down on me, and no signs of the Death Busters raising hell, I decided to join the crowds of people walking about Tokyo’s streets. I tell you, it felt great to be outside, even in this noisy urban environment, amongst its many other citizens. This must’ve been what Usagi felt whenever she would take strolls down Tokyo’s streets, nice, relaxed, and not a care in the world. Besides, the noise was actually beneficial since it distracted one from their thoughts, especially since mine haven’t been so pleasant lately.
 
And there was so much to do too, so many places to go, so many things to see, that it was difficult for me to decide exactly what I wanted to do. So for then, while I was wondering what to do, I just turned a corner and continued blending in with the people. I might as well have just become a part of the urban surroundings since I had this whole day to myself. I was in no big rush to do anything.
 
What did distract me, though, was the sound of a siren approaching where I was. I really thought nothing of it since it merely added to sounds of the urban environment. Also, it was just part of life since there was always some place or somebody needing the help of Tokyo’s emergency services. But what had finally made me turn my head was when that one siren became two, and then three. There, approaching where I was, were ambulances and fire engines. And I wasn’t the only one whose attention they grabbed. Almost everybody had their eyes turned on the motorcade of emergency vehicles as well. It wasn’t really all that unusual since that was the reason they had sirens on those things in the first place. But damn their noise was getting awfully annoying.
 
However, deep down inside, as another fire truck sped by, I felt the urge to run toward where they were going. It was as if something or someone important had called me to where those trucks were going. But then again, aren’t people usually curious about where emergency vehicles are going? So I bolted in that direction, knocking aside a couple of people, and not even paying attention to their cursing. As I was running, two police cruisers passed me by and turned at a nearby corner, where a rather sizable group of people was running. Maybe they felt the same urge I did and had also decided to see what was going on.  But mine was different, as if something deep down inside had complete control over me and was making me go toward where the other people were going. So I turned that corner and joined the stampede of people, wondering what the hell had possessed me to run toward a bunch of sirens.
 
But it was when we made it there that we had joined an even larger group of people, gathered around an area that the police had cordoned off. There, we witnessed a 4-story building completely gone ablaze, along with dozens of nearby cars. I swear that blaze was so damned intense that I felt the heat from it even from way back where I was, a pretty good distance from the police lines. Curious, I swam through the group of people. But it only proved to be useless when I made it only a car-length closer to the cordon. The crowd of people was just too thick for me to be trying to push and shove my way through, at least without getting into a fight. So I turned to a random person and asked what had happened.
 
“It looks like one hell of a crash,” the man said.
 
“Yeah, fuel trucks can sure cause one hell of a boom,” another man exclaimed.
 
“I heard some asshole wasn’t watching where he was going and slammed into it,” a younger man had described.
 
It was really odd, because I heard no explosion. I would’ve heard an explosion of that magnitude, even if it had happened while I was at Crown’s. I also would’ve felt the windows not only vibrate, but also rattle under the shock. And the other people there would also have heard and felt it. I mean, we weren’t but about 6 or 7 blocks from Crown’s, so I sure as hell would’ve heard it. But when I turned back to the raging inferno, what had possessed me to run toward here in the first place began to resurface. Why the hell was I here? What did this have to do with anything? Sure it was exciting and awe-inspiring at the same time, witnessing a blaze this intense, but what purpose did watching a fire serve, other than to distract people? But the question really was, what was so special about this blaze that had possessed me to come here? The sight of the blaze, the smell of burning fuel, and even the sensation of the intense heat only heightened that feeling of possession I had, and answered my questions.
 
“Life is a bitch, isn’t it?” a voice echoed in my mind. At first I had thought it was one of the other people commenting on the fire since everybody was talking about it. “...isn’t it?!” the voice repeated more harshly. That time, the voice seemed to be directed at me. So I looked around to find out from whom the comments came. It must’ve been in my mind since I was probably thinking the same thing, wondering about the people involved in the wreck. So I turned back to the blaze, having concluded that it was all in my mind, that was until when the sky suddenly fell dark all around me. My eyes widened at such a sudden sight, for this sure as hell looked like another daimon attack.  Dammit, I really wasn’t in the mood for fighting, not today, a day when I was supposed to be relaxing and getting away from it all. What urban tranquility I was experiencing, the urban environment that made me feel... like a normal girl, all seemed to be coming to a crashing halt right before my eyes.
 
Instinctively, I looked around at the other people, wondering if they were seeing what I was seeing. But they were all still looking at the fire, awestricken by the blaze and completely oblivious to the dark sky around them. What the hell was wrong with these people? Didn’t they see that the sky had all of a sudden turned black as night? Shouldn’t that have told them that something terrifying was about to happen, such as one of their pure hearts being ripped from their bodies? I turned back to the fire and, to my surprise, saw only the fire and hordes of flashing lights around it. It was as if the sea of people in front of me had parted, revealing the fire’s true colors.
 
However, this blaze looked rather familiar as a feeling of déja vu had begun to take my mind. It looked like one I had seen, one I’d seen recently. Sure I have seen my share of house and building fires, but this one was just so familiar. The look of it, the sound of it, and even the smell and feel of it were all the same as one I had experienced before... quite recently.
 
“I’m afraid I have some bad news. There was a plane crash last night,” I heard another voice say. I knew it wasn’t any of the people around me that time, simply because it was a voice I had heard only a couple nights ago, speaking those dreadful words I had become all too familiar with. I slowly backed away from the blaze, with my hands beginning to tremble and my heart beginning to race, as I had concluded why I seemed to be the only one seeing this dark sky. But when I turned around to run from it, all the people were gone. The whole city had turned black around me. Nobody was around, not even the people who were talking amongst themselves about the fire they were witnessing. So there I was, standing in another endless void, feeling only the heat of the blaze behind me.
 
“Life really is a bitch, isn’t it Makoto?” a voice taunted from behind me. If that damn fire wasn’t familiar enough, it was that voice that confirmed what had possessed me to run over here in the first place. When I turned around, my eyes widened in awe as they met those of the very son-of-a-bitch who had brought on this whole feeling of déja vu.
 
“Behold, the very reason you are who you are, and what you are,” the daimon explained. “There’s no use running from it, Makoto. This is who you are. This is your pain, your fear. But what you fear is the inevitable. You may hide from it, you may run from it, you may even pretend after a long time that it never happened. But in doing so, it has come back with a vengeance and bitten you hard in the ass,” he continued, “Hurts like hell, doesn’t it?”
 
Throughout that whole one-sided speech, I was really trembling in terror, feeling as if the daimon had thrust his hand into my chest and was ripping away at my very soul. Scared was hardly the word I could’ve used to describe what I was feeling. I mean, even after I had fried his ass, he was still there, making me face these damned visions, my past, and my fears all over again. Even in death, he was dealing me one hell of a blow. At the end, my eyes began to water up, begging me to burst out weeping. “Shut the hell up, you son-of-a-bitch,” I screamed as I swung my fist at him with all my might driving it, knocking him down, before I turned and ran away.
 
But behind me, I heard him laughing at me, “Yes, run away. Run as far as you can. You can’t hide from it forever, for it will catch up with you and take you down with it.” Then, I turned a corner and saw a tunnel of light, with the daimon still laughing at my suffering.
 
As I ran toward it, the darkness began to fade as the rest of the city began to take form all around me, as if I was waking up from a horrible nightmare with blurry vision. When I reached the end of the tunnel, I had found myself in an alleyway, alone, and with nobody there to witness my misery. I then fell to my knees, breathing heavily from both the horrifying episode of déja vu and the run away from it. Damn that daimon. I thought I had kicked his ass, I thought I had finally defeated what he had done to me, and I thought I had finally beaten back the flashbacks and hallucinations I’ve faced the past couple of days. But was I so damned wrong, and the tears that were escaping from my watering eyes and the burning sensation in my chest proved it.
 
Why was all of this happening? Why did I keep seeing this over and over? Was this who I really was, as the daimon had been suggesting all along? The visions were not just back, they were there all along.  But this time, it wasn’t just what I was seeing that was weighing so heavily on my mind, but also what the daimon was saying in my mind. It not only scared the shit out of me, but it made me think of how true everything he said had begun sounding, especially with the fact that he seemed to know everything about me so vividly. Immediately, that burning sensation in my chest had reached my throat as I threw my face into my hands and let it all out in one big weep.
 
There I was, crying once again for the same damn reason I did before. It was all because of something in my mind, something that had left me so open and so wounded that it was something not easily forgotten about. I was supposed to be the tough girl, the one who’d kick the first person’s ass who called me a crybaby, or even mentioned that I cry. Things like fear and anguish were supposed to be things I knew nothing of, let alone succumbed to. But there I was, defeated by a memory resurrected by that Death Busters bastard. With how well he knew me, he sure knew the right buttons to push. And push them he sure as hell did, because these damned flashbacks kept coming back to me, ripping away at my very essence, reopening old wounds I thought had healed long ago. What a hell of a way it was to spend a day like this.
 
“Mako-chan?” a young girl’s voice addressed me. I dared not look at the face of the girl, having no desire to show her my teary-eyed face. She was already seeing me in my weakest state, but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing it written all over my face. She did sound familiar, though. I knew she had to be a friend since she addressed me with -chan rather than -san. Sure I knew a number of girls at that time, four of them being the closest friends I fought alongside with as Sailor Senshi, but that didn’t help ease the feeling I had of being exposed, my weak side made known to even a close friend. I didn’t care who she was, though. I just wanted to tell her to go away, to leave me be, and to let me cry my pain away.
 
It wasn’t until I had felt a hand lay gently on my shoulder that I was ready to jump up and scream to her face to get the hell away.  “Mako-chan, what’s wrong?” the voice asked me. By that point, I was tempted to throw that damned sympathetic hand off of my shoulder. I didn’t need any sympathy from anybody. I didn’t give a shit who it was, they wouldn’t have understood the pain and anguish I suffered years ago when that plane crashed, and the pain and anguish I’m feeling all over again. But I was in too much pain and left too weak from the defeat to even muster up the anger, let alone a scream or a punch.
 
“Please go away,” I barely whispered over the tears. I wasn’t in the mood to talk and I wasn’t in the mood for company. I just wanted to be left alone in that alley. Yet, something told me that this girl’s voice was that of a really close friend of mine, one who loved me greatly, and therefore one whom I could trust. But what would they know?
 
“No, not until you tell me what’s wrong,” the voice refused, “You’ve been acting very strangely the past couple of days. You were late to study group yesterday, you actually overslept yesterday, and you even had that bad case of a dizzy spell that I’m now beginning to think wasn’t what it seemed.”
 
That explanation right there told me it was Usagi, since she and Rei were the only ones who’d mention oversleeping, and she’s the only one who was that inquisitive of what was really wrong with me yesterday. I obviously wasn’t going to convince her to go away, and there was no way in hell I was going to scream at her or push her away either. I couldn’t even bring it upon myself to even get angry at her for caring so much. She loved me and cared a lot for me, and I the same for her. She deserved much better than that. So I looked up at her from having my face buried in my hands, showing her my nearly bloodshot eyes and tears cascading down my cheeks. Even with my blurry vision, bestowed upon me by the tears, I easily made out the pair of blonde odangos signature only to my closest friend. Damn you, Usagi-chan. Only you could make me submit to such concern.
 
At that instant, she threw her arms around me, sensing my deep down need for a hug. I myself wasn’t thinking about needing one at that moment, but Usagi was good at sensing things one wasn’t really thinking about at any particular moment. It was a sort of gift she had, I guess, something that made her an easy friend to make and a treasure to keep.  Perhaps I really did need a hug from a friend, but I was too upset, too hurt, and too terrified to realize it. So in response, I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on her shoulder. With her loving embrace surrounding me, I squeezed my eyes shut, letting the tears cascade down and soak into her shirt.
 
“You really look like something has been bothering you, just like yesterday during study group,” said Usagi, expressing her concern.
 
“How’d you find me?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
 
“Oh, I was watching that fire with all the other people, then I saw you scream at some poor guy and punch him before you ran off,” Usagi replied.
 
‘Poor guy my ass, that daimon deserved it for all the hell he’s put me through, and is still putting me through,’ I thought to myself, wondering what Usagi was talking about. For all I knew, I really did punch some poor guy out, even though I saw that daimon clear as day.
 
“I went to see if he was alright, but strangely he didn’t seem that angry, just astonished at why some girl would punch him out for no reason,” Usagi continued.
 
“Are you really sure it was some guy?” I asked, letting go of Usagi and looking straight into her baby blue eyes.
 
“Tell me you didn’t see him, Mako-chan. You were the one who punched him out,” Usagi protested, “Did he say something to you?”
 
Thinking back to what the daimon had said, and remembering all too well that was the daimon I had meant to punch out, I said the first thing that came to my mind, “Yeah... he said something about the fire being what I fear, being who I am, that I can’t run from it.”
 
“He said all of that?” Usagi challenged, obviously not believing what she was hearing, “Tell me, Mako-chan, what’s going on? Unless he was someone from the Death Busters or just a person you picked a fight with a while back, I doubt any regular person would say anything like that about you.”
 
‘I might as well tell her,’ I thought to myself, surrendering my stubbornness. She’d already seen me in my weakest state, and she knew something was going on with me. Sometimes, it felt like more of a curse that I couldn’t hide anything from her prying eyes. But that was what I loved about her, and what made her such a close friend of mine, the fact that she could sense anything in me, both the good and the bad.
 
“Is there some other place we can go and sit down, like a park or some other place where it can be just us, in a comfortable place?” I asked, “Now that I think about it, this alleyway’s a little depressing.”
 
“And then you’ll tell me what’s wrong?” Usagi requested.
 
I finally managed to crack a bit of a grin before answering her, “Yes.” Her carefree, cheerful attitude was contagious. It was no wonder I was starting to feel better already, not just because of that, but also because I was in her company and about to share something with her something that’s been really bothering me, something deep down inside.  That’s what a friend was for, right? Besides, she spent all day the other day trying to pry into it. She knew I was hiding something, so I really had no choice but to surrender to her prying concern. Sure it annoyed the shit out of me sometimes, but who could blame her.
 
So we both had gotten up and made our way out of the alleyway, back into the light of the urban surroundings. The nearest park wasn’t that far, so she and I together decided to blend in with what few people were left walking the streets after the rest had become spectators to the raging inferno.
 
------------------
 
It didn’t take long for us to reach one of Tokyo’s many parks.  There, numerous groups of people were engaged in their recreational activities, while others were merely relaxing in the more natural and open environment that the urban setting lacked. While there, we looked for an empty bench where there weren’t a lot of people around, a fitting environment for a more private, heart-to-heart talk. Luckily, it didn’t take us long to find one.
 
So there we sat, surrounded by the quieter, more serene environment that nature tended to bring about. I didn’t have much time to reminisce before Usagi had immediately began with her questioning.
 
“So, tell me what’s been going on,” said Usagi.
 
I couldn’t tell her everything. That would’ve left Usagi looking at me as a completely different person, different than the one she befriended a year ago. She knew I had gotten myself into fights at school, and she knew that I was at Juuban Jr. High because I had put someone in the emergency room. Yet she didn’t fear my aggressive nature, despite the rumors that had spread about me the moment I first walked through the doors of the school. In fact, she saw right through it and saw that under all that aggressiveness and intimidation, all I really wanted was a close friend.
 
So maybe Usagi could handle a few surprises. But what would I tell her? I’ve been having these nightmares, flashbacks, and even hallucinations since my fight with that daimon. And it was all because he knew everything about me, even my deepest, darkest secrets, and then showed them to me so vividly. He made me face my worst fear for the first time ever. And even then, they didn’t stop. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the hallucinations, all were clear as day and felt as real as reality gets.
 
There was no way in hell I was going to tell her everything, especially with how it was making me feel. Knowing Usagi, she would’ve probably just sugarcoated it and started quoting all the good in me she had seen and felt in me. But not everything about me was all good, nor could it have even been made better.
 
The good in me is not all of who I am. Every person has their good side, where everything is all happy, friendly, loving, caring, and full of joy. Then everyone has their dark side, full of fear, anguish, anger, hatred, misery, and full of secrets that would forever change them, or already have.
 
So I had decided I would just start from the top, where it all started. I might as well tell her what the daimon did, said, and showed me. It was true, wasn’t it? It’s what’s been bothering me these past couple of days, just to put it mildly. Maybe if I told her what had started it all, the rest would follow, and maybe I would’ve felt more comfortable with sharing my darkest secrets with her. I just hoped to God she wouldn’t start making like everything is all peachy.
 
So I closed my eyes for a brief moment as these very thoughts flashed through my mind in an instant. Then, I let out a sigh as I began explaining to Usagi, “The daimon we fought... at the airport.”
 
“Really? What happened?” Usagi gasped, looking so astonished.
 
“He was no ordinary daimon,” I began explaining, “Sure he was sent to steal Motoki’s friend’s pure heart, but he seemed to have another plan in mind, especially when he saw me still standing.”
 
“I see. What did you have to do with why he was there? Don’t the Death Busters choose their targets at random?” Usagi asked.
 
“Yes, but somehow, I have the feeling this one was sent to strike at one of us as well as Motoki’s friend, namely me,” I replied.
 
“So what did he do to you?” Usagi asked, trying to get back to the subject.
 
“Well... he said he knew of me and knew everything about me, even my fears,” I explained. This had prompted Usagi to perk her ears up and raise her eyebrows, like it had really gotten her attention. But I just rubbed it off and continued explaining, “And he proved it to me. He showed me what it is I fear most. He made one of the big airliners explode right on the tarmac, sending dozens of fire engines and ambulances dashing toward it.”
 
“But everything was normal when I came to,” Usagi objected, “I didn’t see anything explode, and neither did the others.”
 
“I know,” I agreed, “He kind of showed it to me in my mind, using some sort of telepathy. But I swear, it was so real it might as well have been. I saw the explosion, I saw the fire, and I heard the sirens.  I also felt the heat from the blaze and even smelled the burning fuel.”
 
I slowly began to tremble lightly at that last sentence. Usagi had noticed and immediately took my hand into hers, “So you’re telling me you’re afraid of plane crashes? Of airplanes?”
 
“Deathly!” I emphasized, looking right into her eyes with that reply, “I won’t even get on a plane if it was the last ship leaving before the rapture.”
 
“Because of a plane crash?” Usagi added.
 
“Yes, you can say that,” I replied, “They crash just like anything else, right? But when they do, nobody ever survives like they sometimes do in car crashes.”
 
“But flying is the safest way to travel,” said Usagi.
 
“So they say,” I argued, “Tell that to anyone who’s had to go through it.”
 
Usagi paused for a moment, gently caressing my hand in hers, “So he crashed a plane with you in it?”
 
“No,” I answered, “But it wasn’t just that. It was also the fact that he not only knew everything about me, including what I feared worst... but he knew why I fear it.”
 
Somehow, Usagi understood exactly what I was talking about as she then took my hand into both of hers and had given it a gently squeeze.  “That must’ve been how your parents died?” she said.
 
With the pain burning in my chest, I squeezed my eyes shut and let a few tears roll down my cheeks. “That damn daimon knew I had lost my parents in a plane crash when I was very young. He even made me relive the very moment when I first heard that dreadful news,” I whimpered, “It was so damn real.”
 
“Damn,” Usagi gasped as she let go of my hand and wrapped her arms around me and drew me close to her, “He did all of that?”
 
I returned her embrace and nodded in response as a few more tears rolled down my cheeks and soaked into her shoulder. Usagi was a great friend to me. She was always there for me, always stood up for me, and was also great company. All of that had finally convinced me to tell her this in the first place. I wasn’t going to hide it from her forever.  So there we were, embraced in each other’s arms for what seemed like hours. In reality, it was only a few minutes. But still, being in the arms of a close friend like Usagi was very comforting.
 
“It must’ve been awful seeing it all...” she began to say, before I immediately broke my embrace with enough force to push her away.
 
“You have no idea what it must’ve been,” I interrupted, raising my voice. And I was right too. She hadn’t lost someone close to her like I have. She still had both of her parents and her younger brother.  But then I had realized that I was perhaps a bit brash with that last comment. I glanced down at the space between us and frowned a little, “I’m sorry, Usagi-chan.”
 
“It’s okay, Mako-chan? I understand”, she replied, with a bit of a saddened look on her face as well, “So it’s gotten you thinking about them again, I bet.”
 
“Yeah. It’s been on my mind these past couple of days,” I explained, again putting it mildly, even though she was talking about my parents.
 
“No wonder you haven’t been quite yourself,” Usagi concluded, “After seeing it happen again, you must be feeling it all over again.  That daimon seemed to have brought those feelings back as well as your fears.”
 
“You can say that again,” I agreed. It was the truth. I was feeling that same pain, that same loss, and that same emptiness I felt the first time I heard the news of my parents’ death. And the daimon did bring that pain back by showing it to me and making me relive it.  At least Usagi was understanding. Damn was she ever good at that. “I had a dream that night too,” I added, “I saw my parents.”
 
Usagi looked back into my eyes, “What happened? If you care to tell me.”
 
I let out another sigh before explaining it. I had already told her about reliving that horrible event in my life, the moment that had forever changed me. So I might as well tell her this too since it had everything to do with what I was talking about. “I was there, Usagi-chan. I was there with them, in the plane. The cabin burst into flames behind them, consuming all the people it touched,” I explained. Then, another tear rolled down my cheek as I continued, “Then, Mother screamed my name right before the plane finally crashed.”
 
Usagi then took my hand in hers again, holding it tightly, “Now I know that had to have been awful.” She was right that time. It was awful seeing exactly how your parents died with your own two eyes, as it happened. And that was putting it mildly.
 
“They were so happy before they died,” I whimpered before I yanked my hand from hers and threw them around her, weeping into her shoulder. Usagi merely wrapped her arms around me and held me close as I cried. I didn’t give a shit if she was seeing in my weakest state, again. She was my friend, after all. If anyone were to have seen me like this, I’m glad it was Usagi. The others just wouldn’t have understood all of this the way she did. I mean, when she first met me, she saw me as more than just a tough girl and a bully who picked fights with others.
 
“No wonder you were almost late to study group yesterday,” Usagi commented, which for once throughout the conversation, throughout the time I’d seen her that day, brought a smile to my face. She had to comment on me almost missing study group, as often as she was late.
 
“Yeah, that was the reason,” I replied, breaking the embrace to show her that she had drawn a smile from me.
 
“That’s probably what was wrong yesterday too, am I right?” Usagi asked. I remembered the day before how frustrated I was when she kept bringing that up, bringing up what was wrong with me, and asking if I was all right. But this time, I was fine with it. It was the truth after all, well... some of it. Usagi didn’t need an answer that time.  She had already come up with the answers herself, just from what I’ve told her already.
 
“You are right, Mako-chan. I don’t know what it all must’ve been like. So I really don’t know what to say about it,” Usagi commented. I didn’t care if she had anything to say, any advice to give, or anything to help me feel better. It made me feel better just talking to her and having her there listening. That is what friends are for, right? “All I can say is I hope things get better for you,” she said before giving me a tight hug.
 
“Yeah, I hope you’re right... I really do,” I replied. Talking to Usagi gave me a little bit of hope, and the feeling that I had a friend who now knew what I was going through. However, I never did tell her about the hallucinations, the flashbacks, and what else the daimon was telling me. All that I had preferred to keep to myself, for I myself barely understood it. But somehow, even then, I had a feeling that it really was a deeper, darker part of me as the daimon was suggesting. For that reason, I preferred it stay in that darkness... for now.
  
...but in that darkness, it had only gotten darker...

end of part III

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Disclaimer: As usual, Sailor Moon and most of the characters ain't mine, but belong to Naoko Takeuchi. And God bless that woman for creating such great entertainment for all of us with a lot of free time on our hands to enjoy. The English dub belongs to DiC Entertainment and Cloverway, and I only thank them for bringing' it to America, nothin' more. But Russell Hino/Hino Kyodai, Tuxedo Inferno, Titanius, and Deanna Kokorono/Kokorono Meijin are MINE (in a growling voice). So, please don't sue me. I'm just a lonely man who ain't got anythang but his pride. Well, y'all enjoy this fanfic and e-mail me.

Have fun Sailor Moon fans,
Viper Inferno
(Y2V)
 

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