General Library: Self-Incineration by ViperInferno

Rating:R Created:2008-09-25
Genre:Angst Updated:2009-03-26
Style:Character Study Status:Complete

Part I (PHP)
Part II (PHP)
Part III (PHP)
Part IV (PHP)
Part V (PHP)
Part VI (PHP)


It all started with a battle with a daimon. Since then, Makoto has been plagued by nightmares, ones of her worst fear of all. Throughout the days, Makoto relives this horrible nightmare, from the fear itself to the very cause of it. Fear can do many things to people and change them in many ways. But what happens to Makoto is sure to shock even her closest friends

Author's Comments:

Be prepared, Makoto fans. I am putting her through the wringer in this fic. I'm exploring her darker side with this fanfic. It will get intense. It doesn't start out as rated R, but as the story nears its end, it will become rated R.

 Reviews: 1
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Review by Loki 2009-04-06

Critique for Self-incineration chapter I

I congratulate you on taking a look at Makoto in-depth, she deserves more attention in fanfiction IMO.

First off, the plot is sound and the raw emotion came over well.

The imagery is good, and I think the theme of dealing with one’s phobias/fears is a good one to tackle.

Grammar points:

Generally, I found some of your sentences had minor expression issues, some padding, ext... (more)

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